It sounds like a win/ win situation. Your client, student, friend, family member or acquaintance needs some work to make ends meet and you need some help. Perfect, right?

In my experience with hundreds of entrepreneurs, seldom do these situations end in butterflies and glitter. Unless your prospective “right-hand” is already a virtual assistant AND you have a really clear and very open, honest line of communication, you’re headed for troubled waters, my darling.

Here are a few things to consider before you make the leap from client/student or friend/ family to “employee:”

Guarding Relationships

Let me tell you a story- My mom and dad owned a restaurant years ago. It was my mom’s dream to open this business where she could display the best of her country cuisine.

Mom had a hard time saying “no” to family who wanted a job so of course, my pill popping uncle (mom’s brother) worked as the dishwasher. He did alright as the dishwasher for the most part (kind of a hard job to screw up), but trouble came when dear old Uncle Jim started sleeping with one of the waitresses 25+ years his junior (unbeknownst to his wife.) Can you say DRAMA?

You can imagine the chaos that ensued in our family when the shit hit the fan, huh? Not only was it family drama, but also business drama that my mom had to address as “the boss.” Not a pretty situation, ya’ll. It compounded an already icky scenario ten-fold when she had to address the issue with the waitress and her own brother.

You may be thinking, “Yes Amy, but I doubt there would be a situation that severe in my business.”

Hold up there, Sally.

The point it is that relationships are hard without changing the dynamic to client/boss or friend/boss. Is it really worth saving a few bucks to risk that?

It’s hard, as that “employee”, to take direction from their BFF or family member without feelings of resentment creeping in. It can also be equally as awkward as the “boss” to say something, even in the most positive way. If you don’t say anything and just bite the bullet to prevent conflict you may start to feel a bit trapped and resentful. Again, is it really worth it?

Dolla Bills

Let’s look at this situation from a financial standpoint, shall we?

So your client or friend may work as your VA for $15 an hour because that’s what sounded fair to both of you (and that’s less than you’d pay with anyone else). Plus, your friend handles her own social media (or whatever that you’re asking her to do,) so she could probably handle your tasks too.

You may think that by paying a low rate per hour that you’re saving money but truly, a professional VA who does this stuff day in and day out is much more efficient, even though her hourly rate may be higher. We’re maybe looking at a difference of $30-$50 or so each week… if that. Is your friendship or family relationship worth that much to you?

Would you go to a brand new cosmetology student to get your hair cut and colored versus paying for a professional with experience? Or take your $40,000 car to a rookie mechanic? You may luck out and get a decent service for a discount, but it would likely take much longer, with much instruction and it’s possible you may be calling for a redo and never returning. Worth the few dollars difference? Your call.

“Woo-Woo Stuff”

If I may get ‘woo-woo’ with you for a moment: by accepting that that is not the best that you can afford, you’re essentially telling the universe that your business isn’t worth the investment of a professional. You’re settling for someone who may be a fantastic person, a great friend or one of your favorite clients, but who doesn’t possess the caliber of expertise that you and your business need and deserve.

You’re telling the powers-that-be that settling is all that you can afford and therefore, all that you deserve. Is that the message that you want out there? I think not.

If You’re Going to Do It Anyway

Here are a few thoughts to save your bacon if you’re going to go ahead with the client/student or family & friends plan:

1. Communicate like a mofo. Put all of your terms in a contract ahead of time with pay rate and payment details, hours, weekly meetings… anything that you can so that the terms are very clear from the start and there are no miscommunications.
2. Write everything down. Even if you have a verbal meeting weekly (which I highly recommend) send notes afterward on what was discussed. The more visual you can be, the better.
3. Keep a running task list in a program like Basecamp or Google docs and review it often so that you are both aware of what’s going on and if there are any questions.
4. Be accountable. Just because you delegate it doesn’t mean that it’s off of your plate. Check in often. See if there are questions. Provide examples of what you’re looking for if you can.
5. Foster mutual respect. Even if the person is your little sister, you must try to separate the way that you treat her in life versus in business. Hard? YES. But necessary for it to work.

Amy Wright is a business nerd who rocks out to 80′s music, loves the color purple (not the movie, but the actual color) and her lovely family. She uses her HR ninja, virtual-assistance magic, and administrative moxie to virtually duplicate entrepreneurs in a matter of days by hiring their virtual team for them. Check out Amy’s newest product Delegate to Accelerate which she describes as an ebook on steroids for the DIY type.

This tragedy has hit me pretty hard:  Boston is my home; I had close friends running, with their families waiting at the finish.  One within feet of the first bomb.  Four days later, those two terrorists were caught; one killed and one taken into custody after a massive manhunt in my own hometown of Watertown.

(Of course I’m well aware that my personal story pales in comparison to those who have lost family and friends, and those who have been forever scarred physically and emotionally. I send an abundance of love & light to everyone affected.)

You may have the same or similar experience of Monday’s events. Or, yours might be much different:  you may acknowledge the gravity of the event and send well-wishes without the pull of personal attachment… or this may be one of your darkest hours.

But this post isn’t about how this particular event has impacted us.  We all experience tragedy, usually (and unfortunately) multiple times in our lifetimes.

What I want to offer here is an invitation to recognize the gift (many, if we’re lucky) that each and every tragedy brings.

First, a story…

I became intimately aware of the gifts of tragedy in the spring of 2008 when my father was dying.  My stubborn, “never sick” father, who had once gone to work (hard work, as a mechanic, no less) with a 105 degree fever, was hospitalized with pneumonia in March of that year.

He spent 9 days in the hospital and was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We knew he wasn’t long for the world. In one moment on one of those 9 days, I looked at my dying father and I knew: there’s a gift, there’s opportunity here.

I say, “I knew,” but that doesn’t mean I understood; certainly not at the time.  I couldn’t fathom – a gift? What possible opportunity?

I came to realize that it was a gift of grace; my father’s blessing, his permission, a passing of the torch.  It was an opportunity to enter the next phase of my life, to grow up, to make something of myself; blessings to live a meaningful life, with eyes and heart open wider than before.  To affect deeper, more significant change for others now that I’ve experienced something deeper and more significant myself.

(Because life’s tricky that way; somehow we have to go through the hurt to get to help.)

Tragedy always brings gifts; sometimes simple, other times profound.  The challenge is being willing to receive.

Is yours a gift of deep sadness that moves you to tears?  Can you let yourself cry, even sob, having held it in for so many years?

Is yours a gift of anger?  Can you transform your anger into resolve and use it to change a life; your own, another’s, the lives of many?

Is yours an opportunity – to change your mind?  to stop jumping to conclusions, or being self-critical, or being so scared?  to take the leap?  Will you accept it?

You may accept your gift, your opportunity today, next month, or years from now.  Tragedy doesn’t push; it gives generously, without an expiration date, and never keeps tabs on how you’re putting your gift to use.

But tragedy does return; often with a reminder, always with another gift…

My answer always begins with, “Okay, just so you know, SEO is, like, a whole thing. The best we can do is to do our best.  I’ll show you the basics and then we have to be patient.” Nobody ever likes that answer much… sigh.

So I was excited to see this article (link below) by an SEO expert for two reasons:

1. to give YOU, dear readers, a great resource for learning more about SEO and web traffic, and
2. because it so clearly drives home something near & dear to my heart and to my business’ mission:  honest communication, delivered with kindness = relationships. Relationships = successful business.

Yes, indeed, it used to be (even just a few years ago!) that the more $$ you spent and/or the craftier you were with game-play, the louder you could scream your message; therefore the more likely your message would be heard; therefore the more likely yours would be the door customers would walk through… at least once.  In summary, the game was to spend money and work the ratios.

Today, the game has changed so much that it’s not even a game anymore.

(I say, HOORAY. I dislike competing so much that, when I was a kid, I used to let people win; especially those who seemed desperate to do so. If they’re this desperate to win at Chutes & Ladders, my little mind thought, how difficult must their lives be? Even then, I was relieving burdens.)

Now, the way business grows is through the cultivation of an engaged clientele; through excellent service and communication that’s honest to the brand, speaks directly to the appropriate (potential) clients,  and published consciously (with a dollop of kindness.)  

The best part?  Even Google, one of the biggest and most influential companies in the world, knows this!  They more than know it; they’re making it so.

No longer do you need big money or a master strategist to “game” the system; you just need to show up, be nice and do some good in the world.  Consistently.  Consciously.

An over-simplification? Sort of.  But it’s actually the core of what’s happening right now.  From the article:

Instead of trying to figure out how to manipulate the Google algorithm for better rankings, just create content that deserves to be on the first page, promote the hell out of it, and wait for Google to catch up. Their goal, after all, is to move the best stuff to the top of the pile.  [emphasis mine]

Okay, but Phyllis, look, he says, “promote the hell out of it.” See? You still need money and an insider’s guide to the advertising universe!

Nope. Start with your current clients; they are your best influencers. They already know and like you. Keep them engaged, building stronger relationships with them, and they’ll tell their friends, family, colleagues, Facebook friends, Twitter followers, etc.  And yes of course use social media, integrity-based forums & blog-shares and intentional advertising with appropriate media outlets, to attract new clients.  Notice I said, attract, with that great content & your big heart. (Not buy with your money or trick with dishonesty.)

Share, engage, get feedback, repeat. Kindly.

Finally, before I give you a link to the full article, I want to mention something.  The author’s website is called “Boost Blog Traffic;” but don’t let the word, “blog” put you off.  Blogs ARE websites, and the same general rules apply for blogs as they do for websites without blogs, and even for content delivered via email services.  (Your emails being blocked or filtered out as Spam happens for just about the same reasons as Google either ignoring or punishing your website.  More on that in another post.)

Here’s the link to the article.  And, if you like this stuff, his is a good list to join:

6 SEO Sins That’ll Put You on Google’s Naughty List by Jon Morrow

I mean, sending up these little pretty please‘s to the universe/cosmos/God/Santa… that’s just silly.  And more than silly – a downright cruel practice we hand down the generations! Wishing??  Setting ourselves and our kids up for disappointment! (Not unlike the whole chubby red-suited man down the chimney thing.)

Well, I’m not so sure.

Yes, it’s true that making a wish rarely, if ever, leads to an immediate granting.  (Where ARE you, million dollars?!?)

We do all eventually realize that the universe just doesn’t work like that.  And if we do a bit of self-inquiry, reading, watching of The Secret, we’ll also realize that after the wish comes the work.  It’s on each of us to take action and do our part to create the circumstances whereby said wish can come true.

So what’s the value of wishing?  I believe it’s two-fold:

1. Wishing lets you know what you really desire.  We’re so busy with our busy-ness and our being busy that we tend to lose touch with what we really, truly, no kidding want in life.
2. Wishes are a safe way to give ourselves permission to ask for what we want. Wise Women, you KNOW what I’m talkin’ about here!  Cloaked in magic and fairy dust, wishes feel fun and childlike; there’s nothing scary, wanton or selfish about making a wish.

I say, let’s make more wishes.  Are you with me?

There are (maybe multiple) opportunities every single day to make wishes!  Here are some:

• At 11:11 (that’s twice a day if you stay up late!)
• When an eyelash falls on your face.
• Dandelions!
• Blowing out a candle.  (Nothing says you have to wait until your birthday!)
• Toss a coin in a fountain.  (More opportunities if you live in Europe, I suppose…)

What else, Wise Ones? What other chances do we have to make wishes?  Please share a wish or two in the comments below and (if you dare,) tell us what you really desire when you make those wishes!

(Remember, wishes only don’t come true when you don’t take action for yourself; so, whatever you might have heard about keeping your wishes to yourself is boloney. Malarkey, even!)

I’ll start us off….

One of my wishes ~ to wake up tomorrow 50lbs lighter.  What do I really desire? Vibrancy.

(P.S. Remember this gem?  Awww… Skee-Lo was just lookin’ for some love!)

This is pretty universal; I mean, among the many thoughts and feelings that come up around death, and in particular the unexpected death of a young person, the imperative of now is bound to take center stage.

But I’m such a seeker – of knowledge, new perspectives, changes of scenery, what’s next – that that experience of now being perfect and all we have inevitably starts to look and feel like a blissed-out, lazy (and probably dirty) hippie that I just want to shake back to reality.

Yeah, yeah, live in the now.  Living in the now keeps you exactly where you’ve always been, which may be fine for you, oh smelly one, but not for me!  Onward and upward, says the Seeker part of me.

Of course I know that both voices are valid, real and true.  Not balanced; not in equal measure, and not even greater or less than.  (The myth of balance, I believe, actually keeps us stuck in perpetual seeking of more or less of what we already see through current lenses; whereas getting a new prescription is more often the cure.)

Will the Seeker ever be satisfied with now?  Nope; but that’s not her job.  And will the Hippie ever put down the peace pipe and offer up groundbreaking new ideas?  Hell no! Her job is to revel in the now; to appreciate it completely, to love it and, yeah… never to wash it off.

So, they co-exist along with a myriad of other voices, personalities and truths that make up me (and you!)  One or more get to take over in business-mode, others while on vacation, still others when doing those little daily tasks that together make up life.

They don’t always get along.  They may use harsh language.  They may, at times, pull me apart.  They can also laugh at each other and light a new way.

 That, truly, is life.  Now.

But one of my biggest take-aways is something Kris says, as somewhat of an aside, near the beginning (around 4:45), paraphrasing just a bit here: “My team members are my life. To get out there as far as I wanted to get out there, I needed to have a team that is happy, healthy and prosperous.”

I FEEL that so deeply. I’m a one-woman show right now, and when I get to the point of making that first hire, I want to do so with the intention of making her life better, fuller, more expansive in all ways, including financially. I don’t want to hire to serve ME or serve “the business,” because, frankly, coming from that perspective, I would try to find cheap labor- someone who cares a bit about the business, but much more about the few bucks I can throw her way.

I want to hire so that WE can make a greater contribution and greater impact. Which means that she (my team member) will be ALL IN, and the exchange, monetary and otherwise, will match that level of passion and commitment.

And hiring from that perspective is going to take some time. But to me, it’s the only way to go.

You can catch the fabulous Marie Forleo here & the fabulous Kris Carr here.

What say you, readers?  Have you hired?  Have you thought about how to hire higher?  Do tell!

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But I’m human, so of course I’ve got my mind on money and money on my mind.*

The other day I was in a conversation with a woman at the bus stop.  She asked about this (very handy) bus-tracker app that I have on my iPhone and I let her know that it’s available on both iPhone and Android phones.  ”Cool,” she said, “I’m really realizing how useful having a smart phone would be; I think it’s time to take the plunge.”  And what did I say in response?  ”The Android phones tend to be much less expensive than iPhones.”

What the?  Why am I trying to save this woman money when, here I am, lovin’ my iPhone and whole-heartedly believe in its value?  Why didn’t I say THAT?

Because somewhere deep inside, I’m putting price before value, and I’m projecting this … fear, doubt, anxiety… onto the outside world.  (Which just happened to include that woman in that particular moment.)

Desire vs actual behavior when it comes to money is common, but it’s not the only area of our lives where we do or say the opposite of our sincere intentions.

How about: wishing your partner was more attentive, while simultaneously insisting you need more “me time.”

Or: focusing on the perfect paint color, the right font, the gorgeous web design; while the actual product, service or event you’re planning remains unclear, ill-defined, lacking in meaning or direction.

We all do it, right?!

The truth is, both sides of the equation are important.  Value and price matter.  Both your partner’s attention and time to yourself matter.  The esthetics and the offering itself matter.

If you think I’m going to say, “it’s a balance,” ha ha!!  (I’m tired of that word; let’s stop trying to find this elusive state of being, huh?)

What I will say is that there is always a middle way, and it takes some courage to step outside ourselves, and a whole lot of laughter at our own shortcomings, weird habits and (let’s face it) stupidity, to find the way.

*This is a nod to the great, Snoop Dogg; in case you didn’t catch it.

Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater (what a strange and wonderful idiom…)

How are you going to inject the fun or lighten up your social media presence?  Or are you doing that already?  Let me know your results!

The moniker, The Wise Woman, came to me a few years back during a difficult time when I was struggling to find my next steps in work and in life.  (You can read more of that story here.)  I’m one of those people (there are many – I’m sure you know the type) to whom people come for advice on nearly everything – from the technical to the deeply personal.  I know a little about a lot and a lot about some; just like a village wise woman/man.  I inherited this trait from my mother, who is absolutely fearless when it comes to the unknown; if she doesn’t know, she’ll figure it out.  As do I.  And when we figure it out, it sticks; so after several years of accumulating bits of wisdom from here and there, we’ve got piles of it laying around with nothing to do but share it.  So we do.

Back the The Village…

The time has come to build one.  Yes, for real…well, for virtually real.  An online community with resources, learning opportunities, networking, hangout, meetup opportunities, inspiration, motivation and silliness.  (Got to have the silliness!)

The Village – for right now let’s call it Wisdom Village – won’t only be for those of us in business.  (Hooray!!, say those who know me personally and have been waiting for me to incorporate more “life stuff.”)

Just a sampling of what you’ll find in Wisdom Village:

• Micro & solo-business tutorials & e-courses on things like:  updating your website, designing a professional email, and taking your business idea from zero to reality.
• Curated collections of You-Tube channels to watch and blogs to follow for everything from the super-practical to the woo-woo spiritual…and everything in-between.
• YOU-generated forums (fora?) and pop-up shops:  opportunities to gather others around topics you’re interested in, and even to hawk your wares!
• Expert huts (or yurts!):  where you can connect with other wise women & men around their particular expertise.

Sounds kinda great, right?

Well, stay tuned to this bat channel – and better yet, subscribe below so you don’t miss an update!