You may have heard this (or something like it) as a guideline for gut-checking whether or not to move forward with new opportunities that present themselves. It goes something like this: Does it feel like every part of you, from the inside out, is saying yes? Not really? Then this isn’t the right project, person, next step, etc.
Great advice! And allow me to offer my own take – a ‘Yes, and…’ if you will. (Won’t you?)
When a decision you need to make requires someone else making a decision first, If it’s not a yes, it’s a no is your go-to mantra. Why? Because, let’s face it – if given the opportunity, most people will choose to hang out in the gray zone rather than make any decision at all. And if you want to live the life you’re meant to live, you just can’t abide that.
So, when you need an agreement, a commitment, or an action from someone else before you can make a move:
- Know your own bottom line(s). Don’t move on to #2 until you’re sure!
- Clearly communicate, in writing, your requirements and what, if anything, is negotiable.
- Provide a reasonable deadline. (This is so key!)
If the agreement, commitment, action is accepted by your deadline – congrats, it’s a yes! Make your move.
If, on the other hand, the response:
- never comes, or does not come by your deadline;
- does not meet your bottom lines;
- is a ‘maybe;’
- involves a delay or contingency;
- does not meet your needs in any other way…
Take that response as a no. And move on. Period.
If it’s not a yes, it’s a no has become one of the most important guidelines by which I live and work. It has saved me time, money, headache and heartache and it can do the same for you!
File Under: Integrity
What are your experiences with non-responses, waiting on indecisive people, or with taking charge, being firm and succeeding in doing so? Tell me your story!
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